The topic of self-help websites and books is of interest to me. Not only because it is a huge industry, but also because I think that some of those products are quite good and do indeed help people.

Be it Napoleon Hill telling readers (and listeners to the audio book) how to become rich, Eric Foerster giving tips on how to own your career, or Tim Ferriss recycling material from a dozen other books into a modern guide for the 21st century internet entrepreneur.

And then of course there is the whole subculture of material related to sex. More precisely: Guides on how to pick up women and get laid.

Let’s discuss the pick-up thing.

In case you don’t know here’s a brief recap of the story. First there were some guys centered around a guy called Ross Jeffries who used hypnotic techniques to talk women into sleeping with him. Oh wait, I should start at the beginning. First there was this guy called Ovid who wrote a guide on how to deal with women roughly around the time Jesus Christ made his appearance. Or so they say. Ovid’s book (despite being probably written after a woman broke up with him), in case you wonder, is still quite useful. So yeah, suffice to say, guides on how to get laid are not a brand new thing. It’s been there forever and if I bothered to do some more research I would probably find many more examples. Did you see the 1996 movie “Swingers”? There you go..

So assuming the art of getting laid is as old as humanity itself, why should one stop and bother to waste time on the modern day pick-up guys or “PUA” (Pick Up Artists) as they call themselves? Well, they have one interesting quality that all the other guys before them didn’t: They connect using the Internet.

Before someone finally figured out that one could sell eBooks on the Internet, being a PUA was really a rather underground thing. It was like Japanese tentacle porn. Limited exposure to a few obscure discussion boards and websites (like for example fastseduction.com), but a very dedicated and passionate following that constantly worked on introducing new angles and methods to the collective toolkit.

You’d see a whole new vocabulary evolve. They would borrow from salesman-talk and speak of “opening” when they approached women and “closing” when they got laid or, at least, scored a phone-number. There would be new concepts introduced like “neg theory” that would make otherwise indifferent women get excited to talk with them. They would use lingo from the movie “Top Gun” when they went out to find sex with a “wingman”, hoping they would not “crash and burn”. And many of them would be computer geeks that had very little success with girls at school and college, some would be great marketers and some would become gurus and even get their own TV show.

So should a man read up on some of the material amassed by those guys?

I do believe that it is a crucial skill for a man to be able to meet women. It should be easy. I do believe that it is crucial that a man should be self-confident and possess certain leadership qualities. I do believe we should learn it early on, from our parents for example or at school. But the truth is: We live in a less than perfect world where men have become more feminine and women more masculine. And no, as much as I respect women (and enjoy their company), I do think that it has gone too far and that it is time for the tide to turn. For the sake of everyone’s happiness.

And this is where the pick-up guys play a role.

If you read this and you have a girlfriend that is not your type, go buy some of the pick-up stuff. If you are lonely, go buy it. (Or go “buy” it.) If you have trouble getting laid this is for you.

What bothers me a little bit though is the sell-out mentality of the seduction community.

When you buy one of their eBooks you are confronted with new concepts like “disqualification”, “obstacles”, “preselection” and what have you. Yes, it all might be true and play a role, but more often than not it serves to constantly create new product by inventing new vocabulary. If you read too much of it I bet you there’s a chance you will get confused. Or worse, you become a game-nerd that knows so much about the subject it paralyzes him.

Because we should not overlook one thing: Getting to know women is actually not very difficult. And it’s not difficult to get into their pants either. There’s just a few things you have to understand.

Starting with learning a few facts about the misconceptions men have about women and actually understanding what women want (in contrast to what they say they want), overcoming the sometimes crippling fear of approaching new women you meet to smoothly navigating them into your bedroom, we end up with a not so difficult set of things we must know and, let’s face it, simply practice. In the end it’s easier than computer programming.

I mean, many guys have figured out how to constantly get laid with new girls without reading up on it. Some have been genetically fortunate and learned it during puberty when girls thought they were awesome, some found mentors that taught them how it’s done. They are now referred to as “naturals” by the PUAs. And if you ever met such a guy you know it’s not exactly rocket science. Many of them aren’t the brainiest guys, yet women seem to be magically drawn to them.

So can pick-up literature, audio-books, DVDs teach these things to you?

Yes. And yes, you can become quite the seducer.

I only wish that if you do become one, you eventually take some time to teach it to your and your beautiful wife’s son. Because – and this is actually my point here – knowing how to game girls should be something every man knows. It’s just a little bit sad that we have to have guys on the Internet to write these techniques down for us.

But if that’s the only way to get the information then better start reading now than later.

And finally: What do the women think about it? Well, whatever it is, they should be happy. More skilled guys to hit on them should be good. Whether more options for the guys leads to more instability in society remains to be seen.

As with anything there will be winners and losers. But, thanks to the web, it has begun on a wide scale  and you can either join the party or stand on the side bitching about it. Your choice. If it’s the latter you might not feel very good about your choices eventually.

Alternatively you can just become rich or powerful or work in a bar. If you do any of these things, I guarantee you: women will want to sleep with you. Otherwise you simply need to have some game.

Whatever you do, remember: Stop whining and accept that life is not fair. That’s a fact the pick-up guys understand well.


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