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Everybody knows a little bit about body language .. knowledge such as “70% of all communication is non-verbal” or “avoiding eye contact is a sign of weakness“. However, I felt like I wanted to know more about body language; I wanted to learn how to make a good impression on other people and how to detect certain non-verbal things about people .. so I checked out the book on Amazon. Here’s my review of it.

The book consists of 19 chapters without really any connecting story or the like. You can pretty much jump into the chapter you like to learn more of  and not worry about “missing” previous things.

The chapters are more or less split up by different body parts and what they convey about other people. The parts include hands, smile, arms, thumbs, eyes, legs, and body orientation. Other chapters tell you about deceit signals, personal space, building rapport (mirroring), and courtship and attraction gestures.

In all chapters I always had this feeling “basically I know that but I’ve never thought it out that clearly”. So, everything is pretty straightfoward and basic; I never had a huge “aha” moment when reading it. Perhaps that was too much to ask for. Nevertheless, it’s entertaining and easy to read. I enjoyed most the chapter about crossing arms and why it’s so detrimental for you and the eye signals and what they can tell you about your opponent.

To give you a taste of what you might learn in the book, here’s a summary of chapter 15 on The 13 Most Common Female Courtship Gestures and Signals:

1. The Head Toss and Hair Flick

This is usually the first display a woman will use when shes around a man she fancies. The head is flicked back to toss the hair over the shoulders or away from the face. Even women with short hair will use this gesture.
This also lets her expose her armpits, which allows the “sex perfume” known as pheromones to waft across to the target man

2. Wet Lips and Pouting, Mouth Slightly Open

Larger, thicker lips become a signal of femaleness because of their constract in size to male lips. Pouting lips simply increases the lip display.

3. Self-Touching

Our minds get our bodies to act out our secret desires - and so it is with Self-Touching. Women have dramatically more nerve sensors for experiencing touch than men, making them more sensitive to touch sensations. When a woman slowly and sensually strokes her tigh, neck or throat it infers that, if a man plays his cards right, he may be able to touch her in these same ways.

4. The Limp Wrist

In a similar way, a bird feigns a damaged wing to distract prey away from its nest. In other words, it’s a great attention getter. It’s very attractive to men because it makes them feel as if they can dominate.

5. Fondling a Cylindrical Object

Fondling cigarette, a finger, the stem of a wine glass, a dangling earring or any phallic-shaped object is an unconscious indication of what may be in the mind. Taking the ring on and off the finger can also be a mental representation of having sex.

6. Exposed Wrists

An interested woman will gradually expose the smooth, soft underside skin of her wrists to the potential male partner and will increase the rate she flashes her wrists as her interest grows.
Women who smoke find this wrist/palm exposure simple to do while smoking by simply hodling the palm up beside the shoulder.

7. Sideways Glance Over Raised Shoulder

8. Rolling Hips

For childbearing reasons, women have wider hips than men and have a wider crotch gap between the legs. This means that when a woman walks she has an accentuated roll which highlights her pelvic region.

9. The Pelvic Tilt

Tilting the pelvis while standing highlights a woman’s ability to bear children successfully.

10. Handbag in Close Proximity

A woman’s handbag is a personal item that’s treated by her almost ass if it’s an extension of her body and so it becomes a strong signal of intimacy when she puts it close to a man.

11. The Knee Point

One leg is tucked under the other and points to the person she finds the most interesting.

12. The Shoe Fondle

Dangling the shoe on the end of the foot also indicated a relaxed attitude and has the phallic effect of thrusting the foot in and out of the shoe.

13. The Leg Twine

One leg is pressed firmly against the other to give the appearance of high muscle tone, which is a condition that the body takes when a person is ready for sexual performance.
Other signals used by women include crossing and uncrossing the legs slowly in front of the man and gently stroking the tighs with her hand, indicating a desire to be touched.

For only 14 bucks it’s really a bargain.

The Definitive Book of Body Language